Facts of experience are the phenomena that occur in our day to day living. These are the experiences we observe for ourselves and in others. As parents we witness our children’s ‘facts of experience’and then make relative assessments about how they are doing with the challenges in their lives. These facts of experience are the behaviors we can see. On the other hand, the feelings, attitudes, motivations and other internal processes our childen privately experience are not necessarily congruent or apparent with what we witness. This becomes the parental dilemma in trying to best understand our children.
• Trust what you observe regardless of what is said.
• Acknowledge what you feel in relationship to what your child is experiencing.
• Talk about what you sense is going on in order to get clarification of your own values.
• Keep a rational perspective.